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By Jess, October 30, 2010 3:22 pm

For just a minute, did you instinctively choose two without considering the possibility of having all three? Because I did.

(via llcooljen tumblr)

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By Jess,

Here I am awake at 5AM on this Saturday morning. Unlike the past 4 weeks, I did not screech into normal person schedule after work last night. Instead, I went about business as usual. I hung out a bit after work, went to sleep when I was tired, and woke up when I felt rested (aka overslept my alarm). Unfortunately, that was at noon and 9PM, respectively.

5AM is an exciting hour during weekdays. Morning Edition goes live then, and it’s a little bit of a sprint to the finish. But today, 5AM is desolate and silent. There is no good TV on and even the internet is a sleepy place — been there, read that.

I could do productive things, like pick up my room, check off some writing to-do’s, or finish I Capture The Castle, but… I won’t put too much pressure on myself.

Here’s to hoping daylight comes and with it, sleepiness. Happy weekend.

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By Jess, October 27, 2010 10:49 am

Sometimes I forget that I am a creature ruled by hormones. So, after an emotional weekend and a much needed Saturday off from the retail grind, I’m feeling much better.

As I mentioned before, I have a lot of alone time now and, admittedly, there are a few perks to the new schedule.

For one thing, mornings are wonderful. I’ve never had the opportunity to properly acquaint myself with them until now. I used to resent them for arriving too early and would stumble around pretending to be a functional human being until the caffeine kicked in. Now, mornings are what I look forward to. I suppose it’s natural, considering it’s the time that I go home for the day. But there’s something a little more joyous about riding home into the sunrise.

Mornings have also inspired some unprecedented behavior in me. I’ve started to go running for no reason at all other than I felt inspired to — just like Forrest Gump.  Unlike Gump, however, I map out an exact route and stick to it. So far, I’m logging just 2 miles each time, but I’ve already planned an ambitious 4-mile route when the ol’ legs can handle it. Before you frown at my small goals, consider that I probably haven’t run a full mile since I took the Presidential Fitness Test in the 8th grade.

I’m not sure exactly what inspired my sudden urge to pound the pavement. Anyone who knows me is aware that it’s something I’ve never done or wanted to do, in college or before. (I’m notorious among friends for stepping foot inside Yates, Georgetown’s gym facility, fewer than 10 times in four years.) But here I am embracing purposeful fitness. Purposeful as opposed to the unintentional fitness of say… riding my bike to get places. Biking was a sacred activity before and you’d be right if you guessed that it’s only grown in importance with my overnight schedule.

A lot of people have given me a hard time about riding my bike to work at 11 o’clock. I admit I wasn’t sure about it either at first, but a few weeks in, I wouldn’t choose any other way to commute. The difference between riding my bike and taking the metro to work is like night and day. The metro is a slow, deserted and sometimes creepy operation in the late evening whereas the streets are a little friendlier. I can set my own pace on the bike. If I’m feeling groggy, I can take it easy and coast it out. And if I’m feeling anxious, I treat the commute as my personal time trial and race against the clock.

Will I fall off this new bizarre fitness craze by the time winter rolls around? Who knows. Maybe this is just a strange response to the lack of control I feel in my life. In the mean time, though, I’ll just keep doing what keeps me happy and sane. And if that’s running or biking or — well — there are certainly worse things.

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By Jess, October 23, 2010 8:00 pm

I woke up this morning at 5:30 following a 13-hour coma. It’s 7PM on a Saturday night, and I can barely keep my eyes open. I’m irritated by the bass pounding through the floor of the apartment above me. I’m watching The Jane Austen Book Club.

I was under no illusion that working the night shift would be easy when I started. But three weeks later, I didn’t know it would be so hard.

The best part of it is the work. Once I’m at my desk, I’m content. I feel valuable. And I learn. But when the night is over, I feel like I’m coming home to nothingness. I fill the time I’m awake with reading, writing, listening to music, or watching movies. I even started running. In the end, though, there’s not enough to conceal the fact that I’m living in an entire different universe from my friends and family.

And I miss them.

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By Jess, October 15, 2010 9:36 am

It’s 9:15AM. While the rest of you are heading to work or at work already, my weekend has already begun. I’m in my PJs, watching a movie, and drinking a glass of red wine. It’s a small pleasure of my new schedule.

I’m only two weeks in, but it’s really hard to believe there are months more to go. Don’t get me wrong — I like the work, and it was surprisingly easy to transition to sleeping during the day. But the schedule is a bit devastating for relationships of all kinds. I do well alone. I like my “me” time. I have hobbies and interests that I’m happy to pursue in my free time. But when this — movies, books, music, podcasts –  is all I have, it becomes isolating.

When I was adjusting to life in London, I felt the same way. I distinctly remember grabbing onto a quote I read from Into the Wild. “Happiness is only real when shared.” It rang true for me then, and it rings true for me now.

There’s still plenty of adjusting to do. I haven’t mastered the perfect schedule of wakefulness/sleep, but I’m hoping I’ll get there.

I leave you with my favorite track of the moment: “You” by Gold Panda. Happy Friday.